How would you answer this question: How do you know that God loves you? If you are like me, you’ve wondered that off and on through out your life, especially when you feel “far away” from Him. When I have been keeping a close fellowship with Him through prayer time and Bible Study I don’t question it as much. But when I slack off and go my own way, it seems that is when Satan comes to call, accusing and condemning, “How COULD God love the likes of you?” This journal may just help you answer that question for you and I both are the pearl at great price He came to redeem, save, heal and deliver through His Finished Work at the Cross!

By Lisa McDonald

TEXT: Matthew 13:45-46 - Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.
  
How would you answer this question: How do you know that God loves you? If you are like me, you’ve wondered that off and on through out your life, especially when you feel “far away” from Him. When I have been keeping a close fellowship with Him through prayer time and Bible Study I don’t question it as much. But when I slack off and go my own way, it seems that is when Satan comes to call, accusing and condemning, “How COULD God love the likes of you?”
 
Through out my life my tendency in my Christian walk has been to be very legalistic. By this I mean that I would gauge my relationship with God by how much I did for Him (such as how much prayer time, how much reading, how much servant work, etc.). In my heart I knew that this was wrong, that I was saved by grace and not works and I could quote scriptures of His unconditional love for me. But my mind just refused to be renewed. It seemed that my body was a “new creation in Christ”, with the exception of an “old nature” mindset. Almost like sewing new wineskins onto old, there is inevitably a tug of war which weakens the material and tears it apart. That is exactly how I felt. (Torn apart inside.)
 
God in His infinite knowledge saw all of this. (As He is seeing YOUR struggles, brothers and sisters). He had a plan for me that would give me a tangible, personal, representation of God’s love for me – not just for all Christians, but for ME, Lisa McDonald, a 45 year old wife, daughter, aunt, mother of three and church secretary.    
 
God’s plan began when I met a friend who began to mentor me in His word. We began to get together for breakfasts or lunches in order to share God’s activity in our lives. I began to realize how much I yearned to know more about God in a real way – not from just reading about Him but to fully experience Him.
 
One day, during one of our meals/prayer sessions, this lady of God gave me some money. She explained that God had told her a while back that He wanted her to give me this money but was telling her to wait specifically until this very day. She kept reiterating that the money tangibly was from her, but God was the one giving me a gift. God told her to tell me that I was to buy something special with it. Needless to say I was dumbstruck. God? He actually wanted to give me a present? How neat was that!
 
Well, the blessing didn’t end there. During another occasion she did the same thing. I had not used any of the first money she gave me because I felt God telling me to wait. I kept praying and asking Him what He wanted me to buy with the money. I knew I shouldn’t use it for casual purchases such as food, clothes, shoes, or incidentals. Whatever I used this money for was to be directed by God and it was to represent His holiness.
 
By now I had a considerable amount of money saved. I had not spent one penny of it and kept praying for a revelation from God on what He wanted me to purchase. One day, He told me. It was almost like I was dictating His words because I heard every word in my spirit.
 
v       I was to buy a ring because it will be on my hand. I would be able to see it all day long as a reminder while I type at my desk.
v       A ring because it is a circle (a symbol of eternity and infinity).
v       A pearl (because it represents Jesus). (In investigating what pearls represent, a Hebrew website mentioned that they called pearls “tears from heaven.” God told me that it saddens Him whenever I doubt His love for me.)
v       A pearl is the only gem that is found in its finished state – no hands have to mold it or chisel it to display its beauty.
v       A pearl symbolizes harmony (being in tune with God).
v       It must be a cultured pearl (not fake or created) because Jesus is pure – there is no substitute.
v       The band of the ring should be genuine gold. Gold is tried and pure. (Silver can be refined inside a vessel in a furnace, but gold has to be placed directly into the fire in order to be refined – just like Christ.) Jesus is pure; He came through the test sinless and stands the test of time. (God allows “fires” in our lives to sharpen us and refine us.)
v       The ring should be simple, one pearl on a band. It was not to be elaborate with diamonds or jewels. He wanted me to understand that Jesus is all I need.
 
Later when I was researching pearls further, one commentary said that pearls were not placed in the priestly ephod because they were too special. They represented the Messiah to come, Christ.
 
A third meeting with my mentor led to another installment toward the gift. I cried. I remember telling her, “You know, I was in the shower this morning and all of a sudden a thought came to me…..God loves me. I began to smile to myself and almost cried.” I was beginning to feel His arms around me. My shell was starting to crack, ever so slightly. My mentor told me that there was so much more to God. If we (Christians) would take Him out of the box we have put Him in and allow Him to work in our lives, what a change we would see.
 
A few days later, my friend sent me a letter. After I had told her about what God has revealed to me about my pearl ring, she felt God give HER confirmation about what I had told her:
 
“He (God) had me open up to Exodus 28:36….it says ‘and thou shalt make a plate of pure gold, and grave upon it, like the engravings of a signet, Holiness to the Lord.’
Often times there were signet rings used – they were worn by the holder of the treasure or land or inheritance so that no one could steal the signet and thereby steal their inheritance; so your ring is even more significant. It represents not only how much you are loved by Him, but also how much He trusts you with His inheritance, property and holy treasures that He has placed within you, a pearl of great price carrying His pearls. Maybe you will be led to have “Holiness to the Lord” engraved on your ring as a special reminder of His love for you.”    
 
After I read her letter, God led me to this verse in Deut. 26:19:
He has declared that he will set you in praise, fame, and honor high above all the nations he has made and that you will be a people holy to the Lord your God as he promised. (emphasis mine) 
 
As if I needed more confirmation then this, I knew NOW definitely that I was to purchase a ring (signet ring) which was gold and contained a pearl, and I would have it engraved inside with the words, “Holy to the Lord.” 
 
Okay, I knew I was to purchase a pearl ring. But where? I looked on the internet but I knew that God didn’t want me to go that route. I called a few jewelers in town and asked if they had pearl rings and they either said “no” or from their conversation I knew instantly that God didn’t want me to go in that direction either. Finally, one day at work, I was doing my work and praying about the ring and He told me to look in the phone book. I got it out and looked at the jewelers and came upon an ad for a specific jewelry store in town. I felt I should call. Yes, they had pearl rings and yes, the bands were wide enough to engrave. Hours they were open? Great, I could get there after work.
 
I came to this small, non-descript establishment and what did I see on their marquee… “PEARLS!” Was this a sign or what? I go in and ask to see the pearl rings. I first looked at the Tennessee Pearl rings and freshwater pearls but God said “no.” He was not God over just Tennessee; He was the Everlasting and Eternal Creator of the Universe. He told me to purchase a cultured pearl on a yellow gold band with no diamonds or ornamentation – that was what He wanted me to have. When the salesman took me to the case, I saw the ring and knew it was the one before the clerk took it out of the case. It was a little more than the cash I had so I quickly asked God if He still wanted me to get it. He said in a still small voice, “Lisa, you will also have to sacrifice in this quest for holiness.” So I bought the ring, put in a little of my own money and had it engraved: HOLY TO THE LORD.
 
Before I go on, let me explain something. I have had times where God has directed me during a decision process. I have felt Him lead me, tug me, or sometimes even pull me in a specific area, but NEVER have I felt so close to Him and so in tune with His will for me. It was like He was standing right next to me so that when I asked a question, He automatically answered me. (I know God is always with me, but you know as well as I do, that sometimes He is silent due to His plans for our lives. But during this time in my life, He was very vocal and my mind was allowing me to hear Him quite clearly.)  
 
So I had my present from the Lord: a beautiful pearl ring set in a yellow gold 6-prong setting. I proudly wore it every day and it was a constant reminder of the holiness of God. I know it wasn’t the ring in itself, but when I looked at it I remembered how God had showed me his intense love and I wanted to please Him. I began to see areas in my life where I needed to “tighten up” and “get with the program.” I needed to recommit myself totally to God and pursue this quest for holiness.
 
One day my family decided to go to the mall. That afternoon we walked, ate, shopped, and had a great time together. One the drive home I looked at my hand and to my horror, the pearl was gone! It had come out of the setting! While I was driving I frantically looked all over the car and in my clothes but to no avail. When we got back home we searched the car again, but nothing.
 
I was devastated! My present from God was ruined. I was almost inconsolable. To my family, they did not fully understand the extent of my sorrow. All they knew was that my pearl had fallen out but again, it was just a ring. But to me, it wasn’t just a ring. It was a sign from heaven of God’s love for me. All I could say was, “Why, God? Why did you let this happen? “Why give it to me and then take it away, or allow it to be taken away? Why?”
 
Excerpt from my journal:
“I know that this was an obedience test for me; to hold onto the money and wait on God to show me what to buy and then buy the exact ring He wanted me to have. God, is this another test?
 
“Yesterday Jess (my mentor) called me and told me of a vision God had given her about me. She saw me with pearls all over me. I was in a wedding dress covered with pearls. Even my veil was covered with pearls, all down my back and all over my hair. God told her to tell that that was how He saw me – and if I asked Him for anything right now (that moment) it would be done. I didn’t ask for material things but asked for more of God so I could get closer to Him and to receive as much of God that He wanted me to have. Then this happened.
 
“After thinking and praying about it, I believe I was asking God the wrong question: not “Why” but “What.” What actually happened? I feel God used this situation to explain to me about HOLINESS. It is a commands. I should strive for holiness, not because I have a ring to look at with an engraving as a reminder but as a changed life.
 
“God told me to read Psalm 86 a few days ago and it didn’t mean that much to me then but now He told me to read it again. Listen to verse 11:
“Teach me Your way, O Lord, I will walk in Your truth, unite my heart to fear Your name.”
 
“God desires for my heart to be undivided and fully devoted to Him; daily choosing Him above all else in ALL decisions of my life. When this first happened with my ring I was devastated, but now I feel that God has used this situation to help me to see what true holiness is all about. It isn’t because I wear a talisman or object to “make me holy” but it is a way of life, a change of my nature and spirit. Jess said that I was the pearl of great price carrying His pearls. If I am to house His pearls, I need to be holy and pure to carry them.”   
 
After this revelation, God led me to Ephesians 4:22-24 (emphasis mine):
…that you PUT OFF, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts and be renewed in the spirit of your mind and that you PUT ON the “new” man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.
 
The word “new” in this verse is the Greek word  kainos which means new in regard to form or quality, not a reference to time. It is also used in the verse 2 Corinthians 5:17 where Paul explains that we should be new creations in Christ.
 
God sees my quality as His child, but it is up to me to mentally, physically and spiritually PUT OFF those things which hinder my holiness and to PUT ON those things which will enable my pursuit.
 
The next week I decided to call the jeweler to see what they could do, if anything. When I explained that I had the receipt and that I had only had the ring for 2 weeks, they said to bring it in and they would repair it completely! Praise God! When I dropped off the ring and was waiting on the clerk to write out my order I started looking at the other pearl jewelry. There was a pearl bracelet that was gorgeous. I asked about their lay-a-way plan and got the details. I said to myself that I might have to come back and get the bracelet after I save up some money. So when the clerk was finished I left my ring. It would be ready by that weekend. 
 
On Good Friday, I spent the morning with my mentor and friend. We shared from God’s Word and had fun with some craft projects. When I was getting ready to go she handed me some more money. I looked at her and said, “No.” She pushed it in my hand and smiled. I knew it was again a gift from God. At that very moment, just as if He were standing next to me, I heard His voice again, “Now you can go get your bracelet.”
 
After leaving her apartment I went directly to the jeweler and picked up my ring, and also my 7 inch cultured pearl bracelet with a 14 K gold clasp.
 
Now can you tell me, how awesome and personal is that? We can read in the scriptures that He knows every hair on our head and has a specific plan for each one of us. But they are just words until you experience it first hand, like I did. He knew I desperately needed to feel His love. He wanted me to love and serve Him not from a legal stand point, but from one of gratitude and thankfulness. He knew the exact way that would catch my attention. He knew what my likes and dislikes were. He knew me! He knows me! And the grandest part, I know Him better today too!
 
“O grant that nothing in my soul may dwell but Thy pure love alone; O may Thy love possess me whole, my joy, my treasure, and my crown.” John Wesley 

 
 

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